Obscured Vision

Did you ever notice that what is going on in your emotional life - if not resolved - eventually shows up in your physical life.

Keep in mind that the left side of the body represents the past; and the right side of the body represents the future.

About a year after my first husband died, I tripped on a crack in the pavement and fell with all my weight going on my right knee. After that, the knee would give out on me occasionally; thereby hampering my ability to move into the future. It also caused me to rely overheavily on my left leg causing extra wear and tear on that knee.

Four years after my second husband died, I was still struggling with a part of myself that wanted to go to him - to be With him. I had a flat tire on the highway and ended up going over a forty foot embankment. I suffered a deep wound in my left leg which quickly became infected from the pieces of metal and glass that were in the wound. It took a long time to heal and left a deep scar on my leg - very symbolic of what my past had done to me internally. The accident also finished off my knees - thereby hampering my movement into the future even more.

Upon returning home from my brother's funeral in early November, I awoke to a right eye that I could barely see out of - symbolic of my increasing limited vision for the future. To prevent blindness, I have to receive laser treatments - symbolic of the extra light I need to take in to give me hope for the future.

My son and his bride of one year are delayed in their move to Ontario; and they don't get away until shortly before Christmas. My granddaughter goes out to Alberta to spend Christmas with her sister and mother. My sister goes out to her son's for Christmas. For the first time in my life, I have to spend Christmas completely alone. It is too soon after my brother's death for me to cope well with this.

I am saved from having to spend Christmas alone by having congestive heart failure; going into the hospital three days before Christmas and coming home nine days after the new year begins.

This makes three times since my second husband's death that I almost died - first a stroke - then an accident - and now this.

"Enough is enough.," I say to myself. "It's time to sh-t or get off the pot. Either die and get it over with; or pull up your socks and get on with living.

I choose the latter!