I was with a group of people on Sunday afternoon. We spent a couple minutes checking where each person was at. I was surprised to find, when I checked in with myself, that I was feeling very much at home with myself.
"Oh, so this is what being at home with yourself feels like", I thought to myself. "I like it". The feeling was so new to me, I almost let it slip by without noticing it. A feeling so foreign to me; and yet so familiar. I remember this..........just a vague recollection.
I know I will not be able to retain that feeling every minute of every day; but I'm going to "lean into" making it my norm. That way, I'll be able to come back home to that feeling more and more often.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Cat Stevens
Cat Stevens...............
His name came up today in something I was reading on the web. I have always loved his song "Morning Has Broken". Wondering whatever became of him, I decided to see if I could find some of his music on YouTube.
Not only did I end up spending an enjoyable afternoon with him and his music, I found out where he had disappeared to.
What a remarkable life he has led!
What a remarkable man!
His name came up today in something I was reading on the web. I have always loved his song "Morning Has Broken". Wondering whatever became of him, I decided to see if I could find some of his music on YouTube.
Not only did I end up spending an enjoyable afternoon with him and his music, I found out where he had disappeared to.
What a remarkable life he has led!
What a remarkable man!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Memories Are For Keeps
This unexpected wave of grief caught me completely off-guard. I didn't recognize this tenacious inertia for what it was. I couldn't understand my reluctance to take the necessary next step on the projects that have been bringing so much joy into my life this past year.
Then I had a dream that I didn't fully understand. In exploring this dream, it took the lid off the feelings that were stirring beneath the inertia.
My friend and mentor turned ninety this past weekend; and there was a big celebration at the country hall. All night long, my eyes were drawn to those fortunate couples who were getting to live out their old age together. I wasn't even aware of the longing that was building up in me as I focused on these people.
Once it all came together for me, I wasn't surprised. I remember now that Easter has been my most difficult time of year since my husband passed away. He always came alive in the Spring after being a little depressed during the winter months. Being a carpenter, he was always called back to work in the Spring. And he could also get busy planting his flower gardens and his vegetable garden.
He was always filled with New Life in the Spring; and it brought so much joy into my heart to watch him work at these things he loved so much. Other people must have felt the same because after a long winter of being "holed up"; they would see him working in his gardens with country music playing away; and they would drop in to watch him work.
At Bible Study today, we got discussing everyone's Easter traditions - and while it brought with it some poignant grief; it also brought to mind many treasured memories.
Memories that are forever mine to keep!
Then I had a dream that I didn't fully understand. In exploring this dream, it took the lid off the feelings that were stirring beneath the inertia.
My friend and mentor turned ninety this past weekend; and there was a big celebration at the country hall. All night long, my eyes were drawn to those fortunate couples who were getting to live out their old age together. I wasn't even aware of the longing that was building up in me as I focused on these people.
Once it all came together for me, I wasn't surprised. I remember now that Easter has been my most difficult time of year since my husband passed away. He always came alive in the Spring after being a little depressed during the winter months. Being a carpenter, he was always called back to work in the Spring. And he could also get busy planting his flower gardens and his vegetable garden.
He was always filled with New Life in the Spring; and it brought so much joy into my heart to watch him work at these things he loved so much. Other people must have felt the same because after a long winter of being "holed up"; they would see him working in his gardens with country music playing away; and they would drop in to watch him work.
At Bible Study today, we got discussing everyone's Easter traditions - and while it brought with it some poignant grief; it also brought to mind many treasured memories.
Memories that are forever mine to keep!
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