Belly Breathing

I've always had a big belly - probably a bread eater's version of a beer belly.

Little Thomas was used to my belly size since I was his nanny from the time he was six months old. Then one day, seeing my belly from a different perspective, it stood out to him more.

When putting his crayons away so we could have lunch together, he dropped one on the floor. I was already sitting at the table when he got down to retrieve it.

He came out from under the table with a big grin on his face saying, "I like your big belly, Rose."

I had never seen my big belly in a positive light before - and only now, 20 years later, am ready to own the more positive aspects of this fleshy part of my body.

Buddha belly. Birthing belly. Home of all feelings belly. Home where all memories are stored belly.

It is time to put this big belly to a new use. It is time for it to become a grounding belly.

Alan W. Watts suggests in "The Way of Zen" to "count belly breaths from 1-10 over and over again. Belly breathing shifts the body's centre of gravity to the abdomen giving the whole posture a sense of firmness, of being part of the ground upon which you are walking."

After a lifetime of trying to disown this body by fleeing into my creative imaginings, this sounds good to me. "Being part of the ground upon which you are walking" - it sounds like native wisdom.

Wisdom that I would like to make a part of the way I live my life. The next most important step after incorporating last year's native teaching of living my life with respect, respect, respect, respect.

"The slow, easy breathing from the belly works upon the consciousness like bellows and gives it a still, bright clarity."

This will make it even easier to want to stay in my body. It will make escape even less necessary.

I have wanted to make meditation a part of my daily routine for a long time but, until now, hadn't found a way that fit for me. A way that I was ready for.

I think I can manage this one.

One, two, three, four.............

The Music Of Life

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which
the first was made.

Robert Browning

I gotta own up to it. I love that good old-time country music. The kind we used to hear a long time ago.

Every Saturday night from 6 to 9, I get to tap my toes as I drift down memory lane.

Did you ever notice when you hear those songs from many years ago, you can pinpoint the phase of life you were at when you first heard it? You also remember the people who were the most important to you at that time in your life.

Truthfully, parts of us we long ago thought dead respond to music we love. I remember one time going to hear this lady sing who has made music her ministry. She goes to the hospital playing and singing people's favorite songs for them (often requested by the family member present). She shared memories of people having a tear rolling down their cheek in response to the songs. This gave the family great comfort because they visited and talked to this family member without knowing if they were even being heard.

Music seems to reach a deeper part of ourselves. I grew up in the Catholic church, but moved on to the Anglican church to raise my children, and now on to the United church in my older years. But to this day, if I hear a bit of Catholic music being played, I feel my spirit respond for all it's worth.

It's A New Day

Many of us have damaged our bodies in one way or another by the time we reach my age.

All we can do about it is love ourselves where we are at; and do the best we can with what we have left.

Life Is Not Over Until It's Over

The old man picked up his paintbrush that had laid there gathering dust for many years now. He found a piece of canvas that was still useable even though discolored with age.

With fingers crippled from arthritis, he painstakingly applied the paint to the empty canvas in front of him. Many hours later he stepped back to see what picture wanted to be painted so strongly that it pulled him out of his usual idle malaise.

The scene was of six sailboats being pushed across the lake by a breeze that was both playful and purposeful at the same time. White clouds gathered in the sky, contrasting sharply with the deep green of the horizon.

Where had this scene come from......A place so deep inside himself that he didn't even know it existed?

As he stood looking at the picture in wonderment, he heard a divine voice in his head asking, "Whom shall we send?"

With every fibre of his being, he cried out, "I will go! Send Me!"

A Look At Love

The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.

- Helen Keller


Two images came to my mind when I read these words a week or so ago. One was the image of a tough ex-marine enjoying milk and cookies with his toddler granddaughter - as shared on his blog.

The other image that came up for me was witnessed by my granddaughter - The aging alcoholic was sitting in his usual spot - the bench not far from the liquor store - waiting for it to open. A well-dressed man went up to him and, giving him a sandwich said, "You be sure to eat that before you start drinking, now, so you don't get sick."

Let The Love Flow

I remember reading someplace once that you should not hate your addiction. It is your doorway to God.

At that time, I really could not understand what they were talking about. But I guess I must have filed it away somewhere so it could resurface once I grew to the point where I had experienced a little bit of that truth for myself.

Whenever I fought my addiction, it just grew stronger - gaining another foothold on my soul.

Finally, I surrendered to it. "I don't have any more time to waste fighting you," I said to my addiction. "I am going to live my life in spite of you."

And that is when I found out that my addiction was hiding a gift of hospitality that comes natural to me. An awareness of, and a respect for, what happens when people break their fast (end their isolation) and come together over food. An enjoyment of one another. A reaching out towards one another. All that I hungered for was there all along. I just didn't recognize it because I was being distracted by the fight that was going on inside me.

God was there all along - right in the midst of things - telling me to chill out. Relax and let the love flow. Let go of those reins of control. The love energy is too strong to be controlled by human hands. It just requires an act of surrender on your part/my part.

We recognize the strength of that energy. We know that we can not control where it will take us. Funny when I think of it - because no matter where it takes us, it has to be better than where we are at. Control never takes us anywhere worth being. Surrender to any level of love seems to take an act of courage on our part. Is it a fear of heights that hold us back - because that is where love always takes us - to unimagined heights - new levels of awareness.

Karakul

The lion and the lamb.

The gentle lamb
taming
the savage beast.

His tender touch
reaching
the innermost depths
of her Being.

His gentle nature
soothing
her tormented soul.

Surely
he is a gift to her
from God.

Unity

My search for self-discovery
is meaningless
unless somebody cares
enough to share it with me.

Velvet

Come
let me feel the warmth
of your body
with my hands
the satiny smoothness
of your skin.
Open yourself to me
and I shall caress
your cares away.

Buried Treasure

Want to play in my igloo?

It's really nice and warm.
It just feels cold
til you get to know me
which takes a little time.

Don't be fooled
by the frigid sentinel
posted at the door.
The spirit he guards
is warm and loving
but reached only by trust
which must be earned.

I have a feeling
that we can be happy together
once the barriers are down.
Love melts the iciest heart
given the gift of time.

Devotee

Ethereal woman
wistful creature

yearning

to hold you....
to protect you....
to caress you....
to ease you....
to love you....
love you....
love you....

In Totality

Love me ....
with your mind
with your body
with your emotions
but most of all ....
with your soul.

Contact

Gentleness ....
speaking to me ....
touching me ....
reaching the depths of my soul.