There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
The Stone ....after it's thrown.
The Word....after it's said.
The Occasion....after it's missed.
The Time....after it's gone.
A Person....after they die.
(Author unknown)
All you can do once you have matured enough to acknowledge mistakes you made is forgive yourself and move on.
As you get older (and hopefully wiser) there seems to be a lot of acknowledging and forgiving to do.
My inner journey took me back to where I was at personally when I started going with my first husband; and the negative feelings that fueled our relationship.
In hindsight, I realize he expressed my anger; and I fed his guilt.
Now I regret how I disrespected him; and I regret how I disrespected myself.
I vow it will not happen again now that I am more fully aware.
I will never again treat a person with disrespect. I don't have to like them. I don't have to agree with them.
But I can treat them with respect - even in my thoughts.
Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Taking The Blinders Off
"When you know how things REALLY are, your brain rejects bogus data, and your chances for being deceived diminish." - Self Matters calendar.
I remember now why I always enjoyed working together with young people rather than adults. It eliminates all the game-playing and hidden agendas. What you see is what you get!
Years ago, I was knocked completely off-kilter when I got involved in community work as part of an organization. It took me years to sort out what happened - and move on from there.
From that point on, I worked as a single agent - keeping "tuned in" to my Higher Power - alert for ways to be of service to others while being true to myself.
A year ago, I decided it was time to learn how to work as part of a group (a church group). Today my disillusion with the results of these efforts are causing me to rethink this decision.
Am I really a part of a group of people working together - or am I (like once before) the person doing all the work, taking all the risks, and they are just sharing the credit? This wouldn't be a problem except that I know from past experience, somewhere along the way, people start giving you more credit than the others and then the crucifixion begins.
I still believe more can be accomplished with people "working together", but I realize now that reality checks are important each step of the way. This is no time to have the blinders on!
I remember now why I always enjoyed working together with young people rather than adults. It eliminates all the game-playing and hidden agendas. What you see is what you get!
Years ago, I was knocked completely off-kilter when I got involved in community work as part of an organization. It took me years to sort out what happened - and move on from there.
From that point on, I worked as a single agent - keeping "tuned in" to my Higher Power - alert for ways to be of service to others while being true to myself.
A year ago, I decided it was time to learn how to work as part of a group (a church group). Today my disillusion with the results of these efforts are causing me to rethink this decision.
Am I really a part of a group of people working together - or am I (like once before) the person doing all the work, taking all the risks, and they are just sharing the credit? This wouldn't be a problem except that I know from past experience, somewhere along the way, people start giving you more credit than the others and then the crucifixion begins.
I still believe more can be accomplished with people "working together", but I realize now that reality checks are important each step of the way. This is no time to have the blinders on!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Out Of Sight
My sister expressed some concern because I haven't posted anything for awhile. My apologies to the few who do follow my footsteps on this site.
I have been busy playing in another corner - and since it was something new to me, it was taking up most of my day and ALL of my mental capacity.
I always have to get comfortable with new things in my life before I share the details - it just seems to be my nature.
As some of you know, I have been getting direction and guidance from my dreams for about 28 years. The last couple years, I have been taking part in a small Dream Circle hosted by my brother 2-3 times a week www.rightdreaming.com I have learned a lot from him during that time which increased my understanding of my own dreams.
Well, a couple weeks ago, I stumbled across this site www.experienceproject.com and have been interpretting some of the dreams posted there. If anyone is interested in checking out my activity there, I am using my same name - buddingrose4u.
Life is going well - I have survived another winter and am looking forward to Spring. I have a lot of new things going on in my life - along with a lot of new people. Once I have a better handle on where this is all leading, I will share it with you.
I'm not one to talk unless there is a burning desire to express something, so bear with me. I'm "taking in" and "laying low" more than I am "putting out" these days.(heh)
I have been busy playing in another corner - and since it was something new to me, it was taking up most of my day and ALL of my mental capacity.
I always have to get comfortable with new things in my life before I share the details - it just seems to be my nature.
As some of you know, I have been getting direction and guidance from my dreams for about 28 years. The last couple years, I have been taking part in a small Dream Circle hosted by my brother 2-3 times a week www.rightdreaming.com I have learned a lot from him during that time which increased my understanding of my own dreams.
Well, a couple weeks ago, I stumbled across this site www.experienceproject.com and have been interpretting some of the dreams posted there. If anyone is interested in checking out my activity there, I am using my same name - buddingrose4u.
Life is going well - I have survived another winter and am looking forward to Spring. I have a lot of new things going on in my life - along with a lot of new people. Once I have a better handle on where this is all leading, I will share it with you.
I'm not one to talk unless there is a burning desire to express something, so bear with me. I'm "taking in" and "laying low" more than I am "putting out" these days.(heh)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A Mary Heart In A Martha World
We were driving home one winter from a retreat when we encountered a detour that took us off the main highway onto a snow-packed dirt road. Mile after mile we drove, the only car on the vast Montana plain, with only a barbed-wire fence to outline the way.
"I think we're lost," I said to my husband.
"We're not lost," he said, "Go back to sleep."
I don't know how much farther we drove but I awoke when the car finally slowed down and turned into a driveway - the only driveway, I learned later that my husband had seen in the last fifty miles.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up in time to see a small, rusty trailer leaning slightly into the wind. I looked over at my husband as he pulled the car to a stop.
"We're lost," he admitted.
BUT WE WEREN"T LOST AT ALL.
The old man who came out to greet us looked a bit disappointed when my husband crawled out of the car. It was his birthday, you see. And he had hoped against hope that the car he heard in the driveway was his son coming to visit from Minnesota.
But he seemed to cheer up as we stayed and chatted for a while, giving him as a birthday present a small, stuffed animal I'd bought on the trip. There was a tear in his eye but a smile on his face when he shook our hands and pointed the way back to the main road.
- Joanna Weaver
"I think we're lost," I said to my husband.
"We're not lost," he said, "Go back to sleep."
I don't know how much farther we drove but I awoke when the car finally slowed down and turned into a driveway - the only driveway, I learned later that my husband had seen in the last fifty miles.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up in time to see a small, rusty trailer leaning slightly into the wind. I looked over at my husband as he pulled the car to a stop.
"We're lost," he admitted.
BUT WE WEREN"T LOST AT ALL.
The old man who came out to greet us looked a bit disappointed when my husband crawled out of the car. It was his birthday, you see. And he had hoped against hope that the car he heard in the driveway was his son coming to visit from Minnesota.
But he seemed to cheer up as we stayed and chatted for a while, giving him as a birthday present a small, stuffed animal I'd bought on the trip. There was a tear in his eye but a smile on his face when he shook our hands and pointed the way back to the main road.
- Joanna Weaver
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Klondike Kate
Kate was no young kitten when she first set out for the Klondike. She had led a full life in a town so small, it was not even on the map.
Actually she had never planned on leaving the soft warm nest of straw in the big, airy barn. She thought she would always stay in the small family circle with her older brother and sister. She was not very adventurous - much preferred the feelings of safety and security that the barn provided. Besides, the first time she ventured outside her comfort zone; she almost lost her life to two vultures who quickly swooped down upon her.
After that Kate's curiosity was satisfied by exploring the deep inner realms of her own nature; and until now they provided adventures enough to keep her satisfied.
Kate had a vivid imagination which provided a rich inner life in her daytime world. And she had long ago learned how to navigate the night time world of dreams which provided all the extra adventure she could handle.
She raised her two young kittens and watched them, and their kittens after them, make their mark on life's trail.
She was putting all her efforts into preparing for the final sleep that comes to everybody when she received an invitation to take a trip to the Klondike with some pioneers. They held out the promise of fine meals served on their best china.
They had covered too many miles for her to turn back by the time she realized this was not going to be a free ride. Everything has a price even if you don't realize it at the time. By choosing one thing, you give up another.
The pioneers kept their promise of eating on fine china every night - but the meal they served up was often beans and hot dogs. But that was okay. It was not the meals or the fine china that drew her anyway. It was the mystery of the wagon wheels - turning round and round. All those spokes reaching out from the same centre to an ever expanding universe. Was it the same with people? She had to find out.
She had searched deep enough inside herself to know her own true colors. But now she hungered to know what those colors would look like when mixed with the colors of others. She had a lot of good ideas; but her intensity scared most people off before they really got to know her. Only a handful of people got through all those walls she had built around herself many years ago.
One day she stumbled onto the trail of an illusionist who covered his heavy duty path with games. These games delighted the participants so much that they were deep into the fun of playing before they realized the painful price of admission was personal growth.
But it looked like everyone was having so much fun that she wanted to be a part of it. All she had to do was lighten up. She had been wanting to do this for quite some time now anyway - had even tried it once or twice - and found she enjoyed it. And everyone seemed to enjoy her so much more as well.
So without hesitation, she cast her old identity aside and gave herself over to permanently being Klondike Kate - explorer of the outer realms.
Actually she had never planned on leaving the soft warm nest of straw in the big, airy barn. She thought she would always stay in the small family circle with her older brother and sister. She was not very adventurous - much preferred the feelings of safety and security that the barn provided. Besides, the first time she ventured outside her comfort zone; she almost lost her life to two vultures who quickly swooped down upon her.
After that Kate's curiosity was satisfied by exploring the deep inner realms of her own nature; and until now they provided adventures enough to keep her satisfied.
Kate had a vivid imagination which provided a rich inner life in her daytime world. And she had long ago learned how to navigate the night time world of dreams which provided all the extra adventure she could handle.
She raised her two young kittens and watched them, and their kittens after them, make their mark on life's trail.
She was putting all her efforts into preparing for the final sleep that comes to everybody when she received an invitation to take a trip to the Klondike with some pioneers. They held out the promise of fine meals served on their best china.
They had covered too many miles for her to turn back by the time she realized this was not going to be a free ride. Everything has a price even if you don't realize it at the time. By choosing one thing, you give up another.
The pioneers kept their promise of eating on fine china every night - but the meal they served up was often beans and hot dogs. But that was okay. It was not the meals or the fine china that drew her anyway. It was the mystery of the wagon wheels - turning round and round. All those spokes reaching out from the same centre to an ever expanding universe. Was it the same with people? She had to find out.
She had searched deep enough inside herself to know her own true colors. But now she hungered to know what those colors would look like when mixed with the colors of others. She had a lot of good ideas; but her intensity scared most people off before they really got to know her. Only a handful of people got through all those walls she had built around herself many years ago.
One day she stumbled onto the trail of an illusionist who covered his heavy duty path with games. These games delighted the participants so much that they were deep into the fun of playing before they realized the painful price of admission was personal growth.
But it looked like everyone was having so much fun that she wanted to be a part of it. All she had to do was lighten up. She had been wanting to do this for quite some time now anyway - had even tried it once or twice - and found she enjoyed it. And everyone seemed to enjoy her so much more as well.
So without hesitation, she cast her old identity aside and gave herself over to permanently being Klondike Kate - explorer of the outer realms.
Monday, January 19, 2009
One Day At A Time
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Be as gentle and respectful with yourself as you are with others.
Embrace your past and dance
into your future.
Life is for living.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Be as gentle and respectful with yourself as you are with others.
Embrace your past and dance
into your future.
Life is for living.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Courage
Sometimes courage is nothing more than daring to go on living - alone - after having been part of a couple.
It's daring to go back out into the world, continuing to put one foot in front of the other, as you walk into an unknown future - taking all of your Self with you.
It's daring to go back out into the world, continuing to put one foot in front of the other, as you walk into an unknown future - taking all of your Self with you.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Rules Of Everyday Living
I was going through some papers the other day and came across the "Girl Guide Laws" that were left behind by my niece from when she stayed with me.
I couldn't help thinking how much better the world would be if we all incorporated these concepts into our "rules of everyday living":
BE HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY
USE MY RESOURCES WISELY
RECOGNIZE AND USE MY TALENTS AND ABILITIES
PROTECT OUR COMMON ENVIRONMENT
LIVE WITH COURAGE AND STRENGTH
SHARE IN THE SISTERHOOD OF GUIDING
Everyone on board with me?
I couldn't help thinking how much better the world would be if we all incorporated these concepts into our "rules of everyday living":
BE HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY
USE MY RESOURCES WISELY
RECOGNIZE AND USE MY TALENTS AND ABILITIES
PROTECT OUR COMMON ENVIRONMENT
LIVE WITH COURAGE AND STRENGTH
SHARE IN THE SISTERHOOD OF GUIDING
Everyone on board with me?
Friday, July 4, 2008
Empowerment
There is not one of us whose has not felt powerless at one time or another - both in our own lives and in witnessing the lives of others.
Wollf, over at www.howlsatmoon.blogspot.com introduced me to Irena Sendler today. What an affirmation for what one person can do to change a hopeless situation.
In researching her story a little further, I came across this quote by a rabbi (they didn't name him though and I wasn't able to track him down) but wanted to pass on these encouraging words: "For darkness to take over, it must completely fill a room. But one little flicker of light, a single lit match, can bring light to the whole room."
All of us are not called to such acts of heroism as Irena Sendler was (thank God). But let us not back down when it comes our turn to light a match in a small way - as it will, without a doubt, in each of our lives.
Wollf, over at www.howlsatmoon.blogspot.com introduced me to Irena Sendler today. What an affirmation for what one person can do to change a hopeless situation.
In researching her story a little further, I came across this quote by a rabbi (they didn't name him though and I wasn't able to track him down) but wanted to pass on these encouraging words: "For darkness to take over, it must completely fill a room. But one little flicker of light, a single lit match, can bring light to the whole room."
All of us are not called to such acts of heroism as Irena Sendler was (thank God). But let us not back down when it comes our turn to light a match in a small way - as it will, without a doubt, in each of our lives.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
A Touch Of Joy - A Touch Of Sorrow
"Joy and sorrow are never separated. When our hearts rejoice at a spectacular view, we may miss our friends who cannot see it, and when we're overwhelmed with grief, we may discover what true friendship is all about. Joy is hidden in sorrow and sorrow in joy." - Henri Nouwen
Today has been a joyful day. My husband would have loved being a part of it.
To help me choose recipes for the cookbook I'm working on, I had my bible study group come for a pancake breakfast. I made the toppings yesterday - strawberry and blueberry.
The minister manned the griddle and cooked the bacon and the pancakes for us - regular, buttermilk, and pumpkin.
I baked apples in maple syrup to go with the pumpkin pancakes; and we finished off with a taste of pumpkin custard.
What a tremendous way to start off our day and our bible study.
I'm glad that I have healed enough to be able to enjoy these wonderful high moments of life once again; without having to suffer the terrible lows that immediately follow them earlier on in the grief process.
Today has been a joyful day. My husband would have loved being a part of it.
To help me choose recipes for the cookbook I'm working on, I had my bible study group come for a pancake breakfast. I made the toppings yesterday - strawberry and blueberry.
The minister manned the griddle and cooked the bacon and the pancakes for us - regular, buttermilk, and pumpkin.
I baked apples in maple syrup to go with the pumpkin pancakes; and we finished off with a taste of pumpkin custard.
What a tremendous way to start off our day and our bible study.
I'm glad that I have healed enough to be able to enjoy these wonderful high moments of life once again; without having to suffer the terrible lows that immediately follow them earlier on in the grief process.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
