Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Honor In Relationships

I just finished reading a wonderful post on Honor at Howlsatmoon.blogspot.com - it made me realize that is where my mind was trying to take me in my thoughts on Relationship for this post.

Identifying what I am not has always been easier for me than identifying what I am. Maybe that is why the temptation was always so great when a role ended, to immediately replace it with another.

I have been a bit of a martyr all my life - sacrificing my Self for the needs of others. It is not something I knowingly set out to do. It is something I started so early in my life that I had no awareness of doing it as an adult. It was just so much a part of me by that time.

My strongest memory of my father, whom I adored as much as you would adore any god, was of him sitting in an armchair, HURTING inside, and me standing there helplessly, not knowing how to help him. So I sacrificed my Self. I made it my business to know what he needed me to be, and I did my best to BE it.

There is no Honor in being untrue to yourself, even if you are mistakenly doing it out of love.
I needed someone to tell me the only Honor you can have in the world of relationships is to find a way to be there for people you care about without being unfaithful to yourself.

Interestingly enough, when the mind and the heart work together to find the answers to these dilemnas, the solution quite often brings out the BEST in both of you.

HONOR BEGETS HONOR!

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