Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus
I have loved those words since the first time I saw them.
The first time ever I saw your face...............
I know, I'm rambling. I'm allowed to - I'm a rose.
It was many years ago - I saw those words on a little card. They expressed exactly what I was feeling for the man who would come to mean so much to me over time.
My sister and I were very close back then. To say she was surprised when we told her we were getting married would be the understatement of the year.
She said, "But I thought you were only friends." To which I replied, "Well, if you can't marry a friend, who can you marry?"
It was our friendship that sustained us through the marriage - the good times and the bad. We always had our friendship to fall back on when the going got rough. Being friends with one another kept the lines of communication open when a wrinkle would appear in the relationship. Being courteous to each other during those "wrinkly periods" bought us time. Then when we both were ready, we could calmly discuss the issue that was coming between us.
He's gone now; but many good memories remain. And I still celebrate Valentine's Day with whoever is in my world on that day. It's a day that you are not obligated to give anybody anything - it's just a whole lot of fun if you do. And it doesn't have to be much to be appreciated - a card, a piece of chocolate, flowers, whatever feels right....
I made a peanut butter pie to share with the young people. My granddaughter bought me some carnations. My niece made us each a valentine. And we got together for supper along with my granddaughter's boyfriend.
It was fun for all of us.
If you can't be with the one you love; express love to the people you're with - in whatever way is appropriate.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
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4 comments:
I have two hopes:
That someday, I can say "I married my friend and loved him until I died."
And also: that, since I have married my friend, I will die before him, and be spared his death....
It is wonderful being married to your best friend - I strongly recommend it for anyone it is "in the cards for".
But as to the second part of your hope, I can only say it is a sad fact that women outlive men judging from the senior population. It is a good thing we have no control over who goes first - it would be a hard call.
I don't wish to upset my male readers by saying that women weather the storm of grief better - especially after the difficult time I had with it - but in our society (or at least the one I grew up in) women are expected to have emotions and learn to control them while the men are forced to hide them and even deny having them. I would expect it to make the grief process even more difficult.
Thanks so much for your lovely sharing of your thoughts,foxfier.
Happy belated V-day to you, PWW. Would have been my 21st.
Now....It seems I'm starting all over again with someone I mighta coulda shoulda....been with all this time.
BUT.....I have the Cubs out of the "growing pains". Wish me well?
Wollf
I certainly DO wish you well, my Friend.
Mighta coulda shoulda.......it will be all the better because of your past relationships. That is what helped make you who you are today, Man With Thinking Heart.
As much as I loved my second husband, I was well aware that we would not have been such a perfect fit in our younger days. That part of our life needed to be lived the way we each lived it in order for us to really appreciate each other and to do justice to the beautiful gift of Relationship that we were given at that time in our lives.
Now that I am coming out of my grief I see so clearly how each thing is a stepping stone to the next in our lives; and we really CAN Trust the Process. I had forgotten that for a long time after God pulled the rug out from under me.
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