Conscious Evolution

I am taking an online course with Barbara Marx Hubbard on "Conscious Evolution" - "evolving by choice, not chance"

We are in week 5 of this very exciting course now. I was completely overwhelmed for the first two weeks with all the scientific terminology that was new to me.

Then I began to realize that while the terminology was new to me - the concepts were not.

"Co-creators" led me back to my bookshelf and Gary Zukav's "Seat of the Soul" which I re-read with newly opened eyes.

"Making the shift from ego to essence", of course, led me back to Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth".

I can hardly wait to finish Shakti Gawain's "Living in the Light" so I can move on to "Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr.

I can't believe how much I missed in the initial reading of these books when they impacted my life so deeply the first time I read them.

She's a Keeper

Taken from "Living Gently in a Violent World" by Stanley Hauerwas and Jean Vanier:

"I know a man who lives in Paris. His wife has Alzheimer's. He was an important businessman - his life filled with busyness. But he said that when his wife fell sick, 'I just couldn't put her in an institution, so I keep her. I feed her. I bathe her.'

I went to Paris to visit them, and this businessman who had been very busy all his life said, 'I have changed. I have become more human.'

I got a letter from him recently. He said that in the middle of the night his wife woke him up.

She came out of the fog for a moment, and she said, 'Darling, I just want to say thank you for all you're doing for me.' Then she fell back into the fog. He said, 'I wept and I wept.' "

Physician-Assisted Suicide

I took part in an online survey yesterday "Should physician-assisted suicide be legalized?"

I could not believe the figures so far - 79% were in favor of it.

I honestly feel that this move is so far in the wrong direction.

For one thing, so many people would feel guilted into taking this route rather than burden their loved ones when they are no longer able to care for themselves. And if they didn't already feel this way, I know many people who would only too gladly help them come to this conclusion.

And another thing that some people don't realize is that the end time of a person's life presents many opportunities for very intimate moments of reconciliation. Healing both for the persons as individuals - and their relationship. Healings for brokenness that they often are not even aware of on a conscious level at the time.

With modern technology, we have the means to keep people as comfortable as possible throuhout their transition.

We just need to learn to be "present" to people who are making this very sacred journey.

Mystical Moments

My favorite part of Christmas are those unexpected, magical moments that border on the mystical.

Watch for them.

They are there for each and every one of us to savor if we remain open to them.

I'm My Own Grandma

It is interesting that these two young people are coming home at the same time.

Candace, my granddaughter. The wannabe princess. Who is so much more already than she longs to be. But she values these qualities very little. The very things I love most about her.

And Tom, my nephew by marriage. The rebel warrior who refuses to fit into mainstream society in any way. Lives a bit like a gypsy except for remaining in the same place. He will arrive a few days from now.

Before going to sleep last night, I said a prayer for any ancestors that needed prayers. This is not something I have done before. Someone else recently made me aware of reasons for doing this.

Strangely enough, it was a young part of myself that I dreamt of. She came knocking at the door of the house I grew up in.

The second dream I had was of Tom arriving early - knocking at the door of the house I live in now. I opened the door to the darkness - then began feeling vulnerable as I became more aware of the darkness I was facing.

The words of wisdom that came my way this morning - "You stand in your own light. Make it shine."

Recluse

This is my home - my refuge - my sanctuary.

Here I am as safe as one can be from the world at large.

Or, like Rapunzel, am I a prisoner of my own making.

It does not matter.

For now, it is where my heart desires to be.

Maybe I am just digesting all that has transpired the last two years while I have been so actively involved in the outside world.

But here I am - snug as a bug in a rug. With no desire to be anyplace else. Surrounded by my books and papers. Words that tease my senses - safely.

Journeying to inner worlds. Exploring new dimensions. Excited by the possibilities.

I have done this before - several times. And have always unearthed buried treasures. Tools that make my life different than before.

Echoes of a Dark Nature

The question to ask myself is not "Can I forgive my friend for behaving this way towards me?"

but rather:

"Am I able to forgive myself for having as part of my makeup that offensive quality she echoed for me?"