My summer has been exhausting as I struggled to break through my physical limitations - but it has been very rewarding on all other levels.
My son and his wife moved to Ontario just before Christmas; so I was facing a long lonely summer. I decided instead of sitting home feeling sorry for myself, I would invest myself in Life.
Beginning at the end of May, I set Thursdays aside for baking. On Fridays, I took my "goodies" to the local Farmer's Market to sell. The proceeds from this venture are going to help support an orphanage in Haiti.
This is not as selfless as it sounds. Doing it this way allows me to fully enjoy the Market experience without getting caught up in whether the return is worth the effort I am putting into it.
In early July, I took time out to go to a four-day "Aboriginal Experience" in Tatamagouche, Nova Scotia. Awesome stuff! Those four days were full of little miracles and synchronicities. From there I went to Truro, Nova Scotia for a 3-day Dream Workshop.
Since my return, I did crafts with children at two week-long Vacation Bible Schools and assisted at a third.
Busy, busy, busy. Plum full of adventures.
And now I am feeling the need to create little pockets of space to process all these new and wonderful life experiences.
Summer is winding down now. And I am grateful for all that I have experienced this summer. But I am even more grateful to pick up my life "as I know it" once again.
A heartfelt hello to my faithful friends who expressed concern at my absence.
It feels so good to be in your presence once again.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
At Home With Myself
I was with a group of people on Sunday afternoon. We spent a couple minutes checking where each person was at. I was surprised to find, when I checked in with myself, that I was feeling very much at home with myself.
"Oh, so this is what being at home with yourself feels like", I thought to myself. "I like it". The feeling was so new to me, I almost let it slip by without noticing it. A feeling so foreign to me; and yet so familiar. I remember this..........just a vague recollection.
I know I will not be able to retain that feeling every minute of every day; but I'm going to "lean into" making it my norm. That way, I'll be able to come back home to that feeling more and more often.
"Oh, so this is what being at home with yourself feels like", I thought to myself. "I like it". The feeling was so new to me, I almost let it slip by without noticing it. A feeling so foreign to me; and yet so familiar. I remember this..........just a vague recollection.
I know I will not be able to retain that feeling every minute of every day; but I'm going to "lean into" making it my norm. That way, I'll be able to come back home to that feeling more and more often.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Cat Stevens
Cat Stevens...............
His name came up today in something I was reading on the web. I have always loved his song "Morning Has Broken". Wondering whatever became of him, I decided to see if I could find some of his music on YouTube.
Not only did I end up spending an enjoyable afternoon with him and his music, I found out where he had disappeared to.
What a remarkable life he has led!
What a remarkable man!
His name came up today in something I was reading on the web. I have always loved his song "Morning Has Broken". Wondering whatever became of him, I decided to see if I could find some of his music on YouTube.
Not only did I end up spending an enjoyable afternoon with him and his music, I found out where he had disappeared to.
What a remarkable life he has led!
What a remarkable man!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Memories Are For Keeps
This unexpected wave of grief caught me completely off-guard. I didn't recognize this tenacious inertia for what it was. I couldn't understand my reluctance to take the necessary next step on the projects that have been bringing so much joy into my life this past year.
Then I had a dream that I didn't fully understand. In exploring this dream, it took the lid off the feelings that were stirring beneath the inertia.
My friend and mentor turned ninety this past weekend; and there was a big celebration at the country hall. All night long, my eyes were drawn to those fortunate couples who were getting to live out their old age together. I wasn't even aware of the longing that was building up in me as I focused on these people.
Once it all came together for me, I wasn't surprised. I remember now that Easter has been my most difficult time of year since my husband passed away. He always came alive in the Spring after being a little depressed during the winter months. Being a carpenter, he was always called back to work in the Spring. And he could also get busy planting his flower gardens and his vegetable garden.
He was always filled with New Life in the Spring; and it brought so much joy into my heart to watch him work at these things he loved so much. Other people must have felt the same because after a long winter of being "holed up"; they would see him working in his gardens with country music playing away; and they would drop in to watch him work.
At Bible Study today, we got discussing everyone's Easter traditions - and while it brought with it some poignant grief; it also brought to mind many treasured memories.
Memories that are forever mine to keep!
Then I had a dream that I didn't fully understand. In exploring this dream, it took the lid off the feelings that were stirring beneath the inertia.
My friend and mentor turned ninety this past weekend; and there was a big celebration at the country hall. All night long, my eyes were drawn to those fortunate couples who were getting to live out their old age together. I wasn't even aware of the longing that was building up in me as I focused on these people.
Once it all came together for me, I wasn't surprised. I remember now that Easter has been my most difficult time of year since my husband passed away. He always came alive in the Spring after being a little depressed during the winter months. Being a carpenter, he was always called back to work in the Spring. And he could also get busy planting his flower gardens and his vegetable garden.
He was always filled with New Life in the Spring; and it brought so much joy into my heart to watch him work at these things he loved so much. Other people must have felt the same because after a long winter of being "holed up"; they would see him working in his gardens with country music playing away; and they would drop in to watch him work.
At Bible Study today, we got discussing everyone's Easter traditions - and while it brought with it some poignant grief; it also brought to mind many treasured memories.
Memories that are forever mine to keep!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Licence To Drive
This past winter a new fear entered my mind. And once it entered, it would not go away.
What if the car broke down while I was travelling alone? My mobility would make walking for help an issue. Now, mind you, I don't travel far from home but even a short walking distance would be difficult for me.
So I finally gave myself permission to get a cell phone. I will just keep it for emergency use while in the car. Funny how hard it is to put out money for the intangibles - the items we need for insurance purposes.
Now I can drive alone and get even more of my confidence back. It reminds me of when my children started going to school; and I was able to (or had to is more like it) cross those big city streets alone. It amazes me how we get so used to these little securities that it is hard to let go of them. "Little hands" or even "the presence of another" can become something we think we can not do without. But we have to dare to stand alone. We have to dare to walk alone - anywhere we go in life.
Here I am starting out on my own once again.
What if the car broke down while I was travelling alone? My mobility would make walking for help an issue. Now, mind you, I don't travel far from home but even a short walking distance would be difficult for me.
So I finally gave myself permission to get a cell phone. I will just keep it for emergency use while in the car. Funny how hard it is to put out money for the intangibles - the items we need for insurance purposes.
Now I can drive alone and get even more of my confidence back. It reminds me of when my children started going to school; and I was able to (or had to is more like it) cross those big city streets alone. It amazes me how we get so used to these little securities that it is hard to let go of them. "Little hands" or even "the presence of another" can become something we think we can not do without. But we have to dare to stand alone. We have to dare to walk alone - anywhere we go in life.
Here I am starting out on my own once again.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Out Of Sight
My sister expressed some concern because I haven't posted anything for awhile. My apologies to the few who do follow my footsteps on this site.
I have been busy playing in another corner - and since it was something new to me, it was taking up most of my day and ALL of my mental capacity.
I always have to get comfortable with new things in my life before I share the details - it just seems to be my nature.
As some of you know, I have been getting direction and guidance from my dreams for about 28 years. The last couple years, I have been taking part in a small Dream Circle hosted by my brother 2-3 times a week www.rightdreaming.com I have learned a lot from him during that time which increased my understanding of my own dreams.
Well, a couple weeks ago, I stumbled across this site www.experienceproject.com and have been interpretting some of the dreams posted there. If anyone is interested in checking out my activity there, I am using my same name - buddingrose4u.
Life is going well - I have survived another winter and am looking forward to Spring. I have a lot of new things going on in my life - along with a lot of new people. Once I have a better handle on where this is all leading, I will share it with you.
I'm not one to talk unless there is a burning desire to express something, so bear with me. I'm "taking in" and "laying low" more than I am "putting out" these days.(heh)
I have been busy playing in another corner - and since it was something new to me, it was taking up most of my day and ALL of my mental capacity.
I always have to get comfortable with new things in my life before I share the details - it just seems to be my nature.
As some of you know, I have been getting direction and guidance from my dreams for about 28 years. The last couple years, I have been taking part in a small Dream Circle hosted by my brother 2-3 times a week www.rightdreaming.com I have learned a lot from him during that time which increased my understanding of my own dreams.
Well, a couple weeks ago, I stumbled across this site www.experienceproject.com and have been interpretting some of the dreams posted there. If anyone is interested in checking out my activity there, I am using my same name - buddingrose4u.
Life is going well - I have survived another winter and am looking forward to Spring. I have a lot of new things going on in my life - along with a lot of new people. Once I have a better handle on where this is all leading, I will share it with you.
I'm not one to talk unless there is a burning desire to express something, so bear with me. I'm "taking in" and "laying low" more than I am "putting out" these days.(heh)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Music Of Life
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which
the first was made.
Robert Browning
I gotta own up to it. I love that good old-time country music. The kind we used to hear a long time ago.
Every Saturday night from 6 to 9, I get to tap my toes as I drift down memory lane.
Did you ever notice when you hear those songs from many years ago, you can pinpoint the phase of life you were at when you first heard it? You also remember the people who were the most important to you at that time in your life.
Truthfully, parts of us we long ago thought dead respond to music we love. I remember one time going to hear this lady sing who has made music her ministry. She goes to the hospital playing and singing people's favorite songs for them (often requested by the family member present). She shared memories of people having a tear rolling down their cheek in response to the songs. This gave the family great comfort because they visited and talked to this family member without knowing if they were even being heard.
Music seems to reach a deeper part of ourselves. I grew up in the Catholic church, but moved on to the Anglican church to raise my children, and now on to the United church in my older years. But to this day, if I hear a bit of Catholic music being played, I feel my spirit respond for all it's worth.
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which
the first was made.
Robert Browning
I gotta own up to it. I love that good old-time country music. The kind we used to hear a long time ago.
Every Saturday night from 6 to 9, I get to tap my toes as I drift down memory lane.
Did you ever notice when you hear those songs from many years ago, you can pinpoint the phase of life you were at when you first heard it? You also remember the people who were the most important to you at that time in your life.
Truthfully, parts of us we long ago thought dead respond to music we love. I remember one time going to hear this lady sing who has made music her ministry. She goes to the hospital playing and singing people's favorite songs for them (often requested by the family member present). She shared memories of people having a tear rolling down their cheek in response to the songs. This gave the family great comfort because they visited and talked to this family member without knowing if they were even being heard.
Music seems to reach a deeper part of ourselves. I grew up in the Catholic church, but moved on to the Anglican church to raise my children, and now on to the United church in my older years. But to this day, if I hear a bit of Catholic music being played, I feel my spirit respond for all it's worth.
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