...And I Believe In God

Years ago when I made my first journey to my inner depths, I went to a retreat where a nun took part in facilitating that experience.

She was the first (and only) person to tell me that it is okay to feel angry with God; and it is okay to express that anger to him.

A strange message to the ears of a person who was raised Catholic; and who grew up in a family where anger or any other strong emotion was not acceptable.

I understand, at a deeper level now, why it is okay to feel and express that anger to God - because lying buried beneath that anger is the gentleness of Love longing to see the light of day - longing to be experienced and expressed to others.

That same nun wrote these words I wish to share with you today:

I believe in giggling little children, their bright shining eyes, and their busy little hands, and their zest for knowledge...I believe in old people, with their half closed eyes, stooped over bodies, wrinkled idle hands, and their knowledge...and I believe in God.

I believe in the awakening of each sunny day, the green fields, the sound of singing birds, the smell of flowers, a bubbling brook, and the beginning of life...I also believe in cold damp days, the color of gray, the stillness in the air, the smell of nothingness, and the beginning of another life...and I believe in God.

I believe in bushy haired people, with black shining skin, the distant look in their eyes, and the cry of hope in their songs...I believe in red, white,brown, yellow...and in rainbows...and I believe in God.

I believe in listening to the sounds of laughter, a muffled cry, and of silence...and I believe if my ears are deaf to these sounds, they are still to be heard...and I believe in God.

I believe in praying in times of joy and laughter, in times of sorrow, pain, loneliness, and silence...and in being held, laughed with, cried with...and just being with...and I believe in God.

I believe in loving, to reach out and embrace the world and its creatures...and I believe that I am loved, that I am very precious and dear to someone...and I believe in God.

Sister Hilda Blade

And for those of you who read my other blog, "No, I am not going senile. I did not forget posting this about six months ago over there. But I am feeling these words at a deeper level of my being; and I want them over here with me - where I am - if that makes any sense."

And I also feel compelled to add these words to the lovely ones written by Sister Blade:

And I believe in teenagers, even when they are pushing all my buttons, even while I am responding with all the fury of Hades...and I believe God understands and loves me and them just the same.