Life's Purpose

She was in her late nineties when I first met her. She walked with a walker - just needed you to walk behind her in case she lost her balance.

She had been a nurse in her working day. She and her husband had a very special relationship from the sounds of things; they never had any children. It was just the two of them.

She spent her early nineties taking care of him after he got Alzheimer's. She was able to keep him home until a week before he died - with pneumonia.

She was ready to go, too, when I met her. She couldn't figure out why she was still here. There was no purpose to her life that she could see.

But I see it different. There were three of us providing round-the-clock care for her. Three of us who were forever changed just from knowing her - just from getting to be in her world everyday.

Life isn't always full of busy-ness and hectic schedules. Part of everybody's life - if they live long enough will be full of days where nobody needs you - maybe even days where nobody even remembers that you are alive.

But as long as you are drawing breath, there is purpose to your life - even if you or nobody else knows what it is.

She was the most well-adjusted person I ever knew; and there's hardly a day goes by when I don't think about her for one reason or another - ten years later. Yes, she had grown tired of living without the man she loved; but she only shared that with you in a moment of confidence. She couldn't figure out why she was still here - another shared confidence.

Mostly she put all of herself into doing her best at whatever things she was still capable of doing. Her mobility was limited but she still read a lot of books, enjoyed watching certain television shows, and was willing to discuss anything sensibly and without judgement - no matter how controversial. And I will always remember how she was with anybody who came to visit her. She turned television off immediately and gave them her Undivided Attention - asking them questions about their life and listening - Really Listening to their answers.

Her life definitely had purpose - even if she didn't know what it was. And the purpose was probably different from day to day - moment to moment. But those last few years when she thought she was doing nothing worthwhile, she was teaching me and a couple other women how to grow old gracefully - how to get the most out of life when there doesn't seem to be any more to get - and how a conversation "should" take place between two people.

My life has been much richer ever since I had her in it. Anything I cope with "gracefully" today is because of her. Even surviving the loss of my husband; and rebuilding a life without him is partly because of her showing me it can be done. She's a part of every Real conversation I have.

More often than not, we have no knowledge of touching people the way she touched me, teaching people the way she taught me. We just have to accept (on faith) the fact that if we are still breathing, there is Purpose - and even if we don't know what it is - we should give it our best.