"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss quote
It has taken me six agonizing years to finally get to the point where I am able to do that. And believe it or not, if it was not for my dead husband's help, I never would have survived the ordeal.
My relationship with my first husband was a very physical one - it was also a very painful one. That relationship ended with his death.
My second husband and I had a very strong energy connection. We learned to make love with our minds long before we ever learned how to make love with our bodies. That energy connection continued after his death, and helped me get through the devastating grief I felt not having him in my life.
His gentle presence always had a calming effect on me - not to say I didn't get angry at him sometimes or disappointed in him - but I was always in touch with my feelings of love for him - no matter what else I was feeling. The lines of communication were always open between us even when we had issues with one another.
I think because we were friends before we were lovers - we were able to fall back on that friendship to carry us through the times we had to work through problems in the relationship.
One of his greatest gifts was being able to live in the moment - being able to enjoy the people he was with - no matter what he would rather be doing.
Me - I sometimes have a hard time pulling me out of myself to enjoy those around me; sometimes it's a real effort. Not when he was around, though. I just gave myself over to the experience and savored those moments.
And I thank God I did - for those Moments of Yesterday are my Treasured Memories of Today.
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4 comments:
Thank you for letting me know about your new blog. I love your writing, and admire your courage in opening up about these things.
Would you prefer I not link to here from my blog so you can keep some distance between your old and new blogs?
Yup, it does take time. I now dwell on the good times with my lost ones.
Much more fulfilling than dredging up the pain. To paraphrase Nietzche,
That which does not kill us,
Still hurts like a bitch.
You're doin' good.
Checked out the other sites....you are a Busy Bee, my dear. And talented.
Wollf
Thanks, Wollf, it has proven to be very good therapy for me and I am enjoying the new friendships I have made - even if it is only through the written word. In the everyday world, there are not many people who have the time or energy to dialogue at a ddep level. We have to respect each other's comfort zones. It's just nice having a corner where I can go with the other stuff if you know what I mean....
Thank you for your kind words, Amy. Feel free to link here from your blog the same as you do with the other one.
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